You Know What’s Not Funny?
Getting your ingrown toenail operated on without anesthesia. Also without that little pleather screen they (in respectable podiatry offices) put between you and the pliers so you can't see the grossitude. I'm hobbled. I let out little shrieks. I actually covered my eyes with my hands. I wanted a diagnosis. I was told to stop getting pedicures and yes that's a "tiny bunion."
I would like to make a felt stuffed animal of a tiny bunion and give it to you for Christmas. It would have googly eyes and a maybe thatch of krazy red hair. It would be like an Ugly Doll--you know, ugly and cute all at once. Except it would hurt.
PS 'Twas the Friday before Christmas and you still hadn't bought a copy of my book? Get it while the getting's good. Surely someone on your list deserves access to your free trial period of Amazon Prime!