Advice for the Holiday-Lorn

Should there be some frisson of ugh-get-me-out-of-here in your holiday revelry, should you be home from, say, college or California or Paris or the trailer down by the river where you live with your cats, and should you be wishing to be elsewhere, unsurrounded by the yule log and the dotty aunts and all of it, all of it, oh all of it, might I assist you?

1. Check out page 302: "Home for the Holidays: It's All Good Cheer & Egg Nog, Right?" 2. Keep breathing. 3. Don't touch that fruitcake--what is that candied green fruit? Candied lime? Gross! 4. Go for the pie. It's hard to justify candied fruit in pie. You're safe. 5. Think about next week, and New Year's Eve, and you in your silver dress. Maybe in Vegas? No, that's tacky. Maybe with your friends someplace not-tacky. 6. This is what iPods were made for. Go for a walk. It's not that cold. 7. Write it all down. This is what those cloth-covered books were made for. 8. Call old friends. Cell phones, made for. 9. Nap. It's like a food coma, but refreshing. 10. When in crisis, there's always a medley! How I miss the Sweeney Sisters. I can't believe this is now 20 years old.