My 300-Year-Old Bike Is Cool
Last night, arriving home from a strange but wonderful evening that involved some art and escargot with my dear friends C & P, I did my routine check of my bike that lives, secured by multitudinous chains and bolts and theft-proof devices, outside my building. All was well except for the fact that someone had stuck a fluorescent green sticker--and not a sticker that was about to come off easily, one of those gloopy, sticky, residue that's going to pick up every piece of lint or hair within a 10-block radius stickers--on the seat of my darling steed. The obnoxious sticker read "YOU'VE BEEN COOLHUNTED!!!!". What the hell?
I Googled the phrase and this is the only explanation that came up. Clearly I am meant to go to the site listed and find out just why I, or rather my bicyclette, have/has gotten caught in the crosshairs of the sniper outfit known as the "Cool Hunters," but after learning that these ace marksmen are "getting, or expecting, 10k more hits a day because of the stickers," I refuse to give them any traffic. I would reprint the sticker here but I'm going to be scraping it off my already-worse-for-the-wear bike saddle for the next week so I'll content you with an image from last night's fete instead. If you visit the site, let me know what these rogue stickerers are up to.
Stickers do not make me feel cool. They did in fifth grade, when they were made by Lisa Frank or Toots and could be traded on the playground. (God I loved Toots. Where are my stickers now? Never stuck, lovingly preserved, so many Toots.) A sticker stuck to your ride without your permission is something that happens when you're illegally parked. Not cool.