What Brings You to Me

Okay, so I have this Sitemeter software on my website that gives me some info on visitors to melissakirsch.com, including what they enter into Google searches that brings them to the site. The most common search terms are my name, the book title, questions about email sign-offs and -- fascinatingly, comfortingly -- subterranean zits. But sometimes people Google the most random, bizarre things and end up here.

Some recent searches that brought people to melissakirsch.com that baffled/amused me deeply, either because I cannot believe someone was searching for such a thing, or because it seems very unlikely that such searches would bring you here:

why are zum zum prom dresses so expensive

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"ryan seacrest" "my mother likes"

afraid of bugs, keep feeling this creepy crawling feeling

dirty pig seasonings

extreme makeover families cant afford their new homes

"oh my bunion"

ingrown chest hair open sore photo image

sauna family etiquette

minature schnauzer kill mice

jennifer lopez at duane reade

do all brooklyn apartments have cockroaches

PS I'm doing my taxes, and I am here to say that even the girl who wrote Chapter 3 of the Girl's Guide has a teensy psychotic break when faced with the task. You're not alone.