Cincinnati: Wherein I Sort of Get My Groove Back

Okay, I have milliseconds before I have to go catch a plane to Pittsburgh, but I've been living on the air in Cincinnati, Cincinnati WKRP, and I have a few things I must say.

If I were doing terrible stand-up that wasn't funny, I'd do a bit called "You know you've been on a book tour for a long time when..."

-your Sonicare toothbrush is beeping its "my battery is dying" beep and the battery is supposed to last two solid weeks. also camera battery that never dies is waning.

-you can't face the prospect of another room service meal, even though you love room service

-you have stopped getting excited by the discovery of what brand of products will be in the bathroom of your next hotel

-you wear your least flattering "travel jeans" all day and don't care

-you have a faceful of acne from living on coffee and Caesar salads and you kind of care but can't care too much.

-you went from not needing a haircut to needing a haircut desperately

-you arrive in Ohio to find you have weirdly lost a pair of boots somewhere in your travels and you have no idea what city because it could be any of ten you've been to in the last five minutes.

-you've seen so much Virginia Tech coverage on hotel TV that you're actually relieved to hear Alec Baldwin's scary, mean phone message to his daughter on the Today show. And you find yourself actually caring about what Alec Baldwin said to his daughter. Who cares about Alec Baldwin? Why is this "news"? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH NEWS?

I am here to say that I hate Anderson Cooper. That show is bad news. I understand the ratings game (sort of) but come on, the people they're scraping up as "experts" on the VA Tech shooting. Poor Larry Birkhead. Lucky Don Imus. I read USA Today and watch a lot of cable news.

I had a terrific time in Cincy (that's CINCINNATI to non-locals) mostly because I had an afternoon to sleep and my hotel room had a jacuzzi. I took three baths. I wept a little at how good it felt to take a bath. I listened to Rilo Kiley in the bath and napped and was reborn.

I would like to point out that my MySpace friend "The Katie" suggested just this remedy for my case of the blues that struck in Detroit, and she was so, so right. Thank you, The Katie.

More from Steel Town later. Do they call Pittsburgh Steel Town? Did I make that up?

Tour, TourMelissa Kirsch