Suggested Names for Pinkberry Rip-off Yogurt Establishments

Okay, Pinkberry, I don't know what or where you are, but if there's a trend, I see no reason why we all shouldn't get rich from it.

I noticed yesterday that a "Yogurtberry" has opened in the 'Duke in Times Square, selling the same LA-imported, or-is-it-Asian? yogurt-flavored yogurt everyone in New York is plotzing over. I've heard tell of a "Berrywild," a "Yogurtpia," something known as "Frogurt" that is only available at Bloomingdale's and is, for those truly in the know, the best curdled milk with the consistency of snow out there. I tasted Yogurtberry and it's sour. Kind of good. But not change-your-life good. Or seek-it-out good. Or even have-again good.

If you can find yourself a scrap of sidewalk, folding table and a metal cash box, and maybe a pint or two of Sealtest, help yourself to the following still available names for yogurt franchises. I cannot guarantee that any of these will still be available by the end of the day. Or the hour. So act quickly.

  • BerryBerry
  • Yowzaberry
  • NowThat'sWhatICallBerry!
  • I Can't Believe It's Not a Berry!
  • HeyForgetAllThoseOtherBerriesHere'saBerry
  • Lookin'ForABerry?LookNoFurtherThanThisBerry
  • InTheSchemeofThingsWhat'sOneMoreYogurtPlaceCalledBerry
  • HeyCheckOutMyCurdledSkimPlusThatIGotAtC-TownBerry
  • WhatTheHellI'mNotEvenSellingYogurtI'mSellingAutoPartsWho
  • Ruth'sChrisBerry

    These are the catchiest names I think. There might be catchier ones. I'm probably going to open a couple yogurt places out of my apartment by tonight, because I have three rooms so I figure I can spare the bathroom and the kitchen and maybe half the living room if I can write it off in my taxes as home-office.

    Related: Eater's Post on What Appears to Be the Closest 'Berry to my House, Which Is Three Blocks Away Which Means Only One Thing: Not Close Enough

  • NYC, NYCMelissa Kirsch