An Open Letter to the Democratic Presidential Candidates

Dear Hillary & Barack:

The emails are getting out of control. I'm on both of your mailing lists and you and your "surrogates" are totally spamming the crap out of me.

Related: I know you and Tim Russert like to vacillate between calling you by your first names during debates. But you really need to stop signing your emails with your first names. It's totally unpresidential. I like when you call me "Friend--" or use a mail merge to address the email "Dear Melissa," but we are not dating. Nor are we pals. You want to be the leader of the free world. I want you to sign your mash notes "Senator." Because once you're elected or not elected, I have a feeling I'm never going to hear from you again. All this chummy , one-way epistolary affection is going to cease, and I'm going to feel abandoned.

That's it. For now. I'm freaked out by a lot of other stuff going on in the campaign, but I thought I'd start here, since the Huffington Post's reporting and much of the Times' opinion page are much more incisive. By the way, you're still on my list, MoDo.

Sincerely, Ms. Melissa Kirsch

Previously: I work myself up into a (gentle) lather over email signing.