You know as well as I do that your bra is the wrong size. I'm not going to go into the specifics of how to measure yourself for the right size (but I will direct you here, here and definitely here), but I will tell you that chances are you're wearing too big a band size and too small a cup size (the two measurements are, contrary to popular bra-lief, related). We'll talk more about this later when I exhort you to get thee to a tape-measure-'round-the-neck lady down at the corset shop and get yerself measured, as I recently did my friend J. She emerges from the trenches with the news that it is not scary nor is it awful to get your bosom measured for new bras. Just as I suspected, J. went down two band sizes and up a cup size and furnished me with this inspiring report:
"One could make a movie in the bra fitting room. It is full of women who don't feel quite right and these very sweet counselors who lovingly help them get themselves pulled back together. Or just a smooth-fitting bra, but the world seems right coming out of there. The woman next to me had just had a mastectomy and was very vulnerable and her bra specialist told her that she also had her breasts removed after a lumpectomy. Can you believe that? All in the booth next to me."
I can believe it. Do not underestimate the power of a well-fitting bra.
This illustration is by Juliette Borda. She's doing the artwork for my book and I have such a deep crush on her paintings that I sometimes can't look at them because I get overwhelmed by their amazingness that I get vertigo. Or something akin to vertigo. I get north by northwest. I get notorious.